The Chronic Sasunaru Adventures
by Babybrowns
Summary: In a parody of Zelda, the Windwaker, Sasuke plays a logical version of Link after his best friend has been kidnapped. Sakura agrees to help him get his 'boyfriend' back since he saved her. Follow Sasuke on his illogic adventure to save the boy he loves!


**_In a parody of Legend of Zelda, the Windwaker, Sasuke plays a logical, emofied version of Link after his best friend Naruto has been kidnapped. Sakura agrees to help Sasuke get his 'boyfriend' back since he saved her earlier. Follow Sasuke on his illogical adventure to save the boy he loves, pointing out how 'stupid' and how 'nothing makes sense' along the way. He'll scale mountains, blow up stuff with bomb plants, and talk to fish to mark islands on his map. Boy, did he wish Sakura was never dropped on Konoha island to start this bizarre adventure._**

* * *

**I love Sasunaru, to death, and I've recently got re-hooked onto the Wind waker game. While playing, I realized how illogical everything was. I'm not sure how, but I thought, "How would Sasuke react if he were Link in these dungons fighting? **

**Thus, giving birth to this fic. I decided to make it into a parody, with yaoi. ;3 The plot won't be exact, hence, why it's a parody.**

**WARNING - the following will be included: Crack pairings, yaoi, lots and lots of swearing, violence, and sarcasm to the extreme mixed with huge amounts of illogicalness. **

**Enjoy. ;D**

* * *

"Hey, Sasuke…?" The Uchiha's eyes left the calmness of the blue sea he looked out upon, hearing his beloved friend's words. Sasuke would never tell _him _that though; it was an inside, keep to self fact.

"Hmm?"

Naruto smiled faintly, sitting atop a near flat-surfaced rock, one knee folded up as his arm rested on it, looking out at the sea. "Think we'll ever leave this stingy island and really see what's out there?"

The raven grinning, crossing his arms and looking back out there where his friend was. "Do you plan on asking me that every time when it's just us up here?" His friend grinned, eyes closing at that trademark fox-grin spread onto his lips, Sasuke loved seeing that so much; it was…cute.

"I really want to get out there and meet new people, explore new place –" His blue eyes turned, meting Sasuke's as he opened them. "I want to have one hell of an adventure, but not alone; you'd be right there with me. I wanna see what's out in the world, and not just this island."

Sasuke had had this talk with Naruto plenty of times; it didn't really seem to get through until now (when it mattered.) He understood, and would love to have that same doubtless, fearless, and endless dream as his friend did. Unfortunately, something called 'reality' always stuck in the Uchiha's mind. The fond, close boy-boy moment broke as Sasuke's eyes went back to their normal stoic state. "Idiot, we don't even have a ship. You think we can swim everywhere?"

The harsh reality came crashing onto the blonde, as did the words his friend spoke. Sasuke's intentions weren't to crush the Uzumaki; it was to simply prove that his ideals were illogical. There wasn't even a boat to get them off the island; might as well tell him now.

Naruto frowned, turning his body to face his friend, who stood next to the large rock he was on. "We'll get a ship then! A HUGE one!" His arms flew up in the air, imagining it already, "Oh, maybe even our own CREW!"

Again, Sasuke went and opened his mouth. "Ships like those cost way too much money, and don't even bring up building one, because it'll take at least a year. I have no patience for something like that. Sides, we're gonna need someone to get the boat here, and the only people who leave this island are the farmers and marketers."

His friend's lips pouted out, arms crossing. "You always slaughter my dreams."

"It's not slaughtering. I'm being real because you put no thought into what you say; it's illogical." Though both males had grown up together, and been best of friends all along, the way they were raised and saw things were much different. Naruto was a dreamer, Sasuke was a stick-to-the fact guy. The blonde often poked at the idea that Sasuke had no imagination, and needed to have some real fun; it seemed liked he almost always had a sword shoved up his ass. Naruto's treatment wasn't as harsh since he was the tight-wads best friend. Any average person on the island got the normal, broody Uchiha. Now if the blonde pissed him off enough, _then _he'd get a good taste of chaos. It wasn't too hard to tweak at Sasuke's nerves, so he had to be careful; he was short on patience, with a bad temper.

Still, the Uzumaki frowned, "All I can think of now is saving the money up…" His blue eyes seemed to glow with sadness, looking back onto the ocean as his hand came to rest under his chin. Naruto couldn't see it, but Sasuke's heart jostled just slightly, seeing the look in those blue eyes. They looked shattered; the raven felt, to a slight degree, regret for saying such to someone he felt _this _way towards. "Sasuke, do you even want the chance to do something like that? Would you even consider it?"

The Uchiha grinned, placing a hand on Naruto's shoulder. He could take away that shattered look with his truth. "Of course I do; it's my goal too. I want to see the world just as much as you do, with you." The kitsune grinned faintly, eyes shimmering slightly as he looked into the raven's reassuring orbs. It was quiet for that moment, the breeze on the cliff-like plateau blowing through the trees. They were both content in that moment, looking into the others eyes, suppressing other feelings they weren't aware was in the opposite male.

"Gaayyyy mommeeennnttt" Sasuke's head fell, hand clenching onto Naruto's shoulder slightly before letting go. Though, that hand balled into a fist as his head rose to look in the direction the voice came from. His eyes glowed with red, with rage, his aura deadly and flaming about him.

"Bitch, do you have a death wish to swim with the fish below?"

She shrugged off the Uchiha's threat, taking a few steps to them before stopping, and biting the rest of a dumpling from the skewer. Of all women, she, by far, pissed him off with ease, yet ignored his threats. She'd been used to such pissy people, especially this one. "You two lovebirds need to go see mother-Iruka; he's ranting like a mental case over planning Naruto's sixteenth. I swear to god he's on his period."

Sasuke ignored the purple-haired female's comments, Naruto getting up and joining his side. "Anko, don't you usually nap at this hour?" She yawned, tossing the wooden skewer carelessly; into the tree that is, penetrating past the bark so it stuck. She had a hell of an arm and aim, though lazy.

"Yeah, but mother-hen woke me up and gave me some yummy dumplings, asking me to get you both. He's so frivolously when you two run off like this without warning. Maybe he's finally thinking that you two ran off to have-" A lock with the Uchiha's death-glowing eyes made her stop her sentence, but smile. She'd known that Sasuke had a thing for the blonde; it was hard to miss such a thing. Quite a few took notice of the obvious gayness both males had for one another; they decided to 'let things happen.' (Iruka, however, was a bit indifferent on the idea.) Anko though loved to push the point on Sasuke. It was entertaining to do.

However, she had a nap to catch up on, and Naruto along with the Uchiha had to go help Iruka.

* * *

Umino Iruka had become Naruto's guardian after his father passed on. His mother had died in the birthing process, leaving Minato to look after his son alone. He didn't get more than a few years before his head position on the island drew him away to the sea. There was some peace-treaty ordeal, and a meeting. Minato left on a ship with a few others, only to vanish. Nobody knows what happened to them, and sadly, Naruto couldn't even recall memories or days with his father.

After this happened, Iruka took up the duty of raising a three year old on his own. He did everything he could for the Uzumaki, from being a teacher, father, mother, cook, and responsible one. The Umino, nevertheless, was proud of how Naruto had grown and matured; Sasuke's friendship helping to move that along.

His family moved in a few months after Minato went missing; his mother, father, and older brother Itachi. They came from the Uchiha's clan island, but decided it was best to try to branch-off and give their kids a different life then one of high expectations. His father was a traveling merchant and made a lot of money, Itachi accompanying him.

However, one day after Naruto and the other male had been playing on the beach, just eight years old, his father's boat came to drift to shore where they were. Sasuke went inside the small boat seeing the extensive damage on the outside, only to come across his father's sword-slain body. Itachi was nowhere to be found, or heard from again. The only conclusion drawn up on this case was the possibility of thugs boarding the ship, killing the father, and taking Itachi away before killing him. It must have been done within the islands limits, since the current pulled the boat back.

After that, Sasuke just had his mom, but she grew ill and passed away just a year later. Not even ten yet, the islands legendary swordsman Hatake Kakashi took him in. Both boys had lost their parents and grew closer after that, spending all day with the other, and often going just down a small path to stay the night at the others house. The swordsman wasn't too willing at first to take in a kid, but his friend Uchiha Obito, running away from the clan island, wanted to take in the little guy. He split a house with Kakashi, taking the top floor. Kakashi had the bottom one, also a training room for swords play. His days for that were just about over, since the war ended some time ago, but he still enjoyed practicing the art and showing off now and then.

Other than that, he was lazy and read too much porn; he cut out for a decent guardian though…with Iruka's motherly help and hints. Both older men knew though, once they were both sixteen, they could take off and do what they wished to. Today would be that day Naruto was sixteen, Sasuke already being of the age.

"Oh, _there _you two are!" Iruka turned the corner out of the kitchen, spoon in hand as both boys shut the door. He didn't look all too pleased, placing a hand on his hip as he shook the spoon in his hand. "Where did you go off to?!"

Naruto grinned, a hand coming to rub the back of his head. "We just crossed the dock and went…up to the summit. But, we didn't cross the bridge!"

He'd watched his guardians face flush, then calm at the last few words. "Oh, you two are just not cautious enough. Wait…" Iruka paused, looking at both of them, standing by the door. "I thought going up there was restricted because the bridge needed preparing."

The blonde sighed, "Yes Iruka, but I said we didn't cross the bridge to the forest. We were just –"

The brown haired male stepped forward and cracked the spoon across Naruto's hand. "Oww!" He yanked his now red hand away, rubbing the abused area.

"If it's RESTRICTED, do _not _go up there! You two are just so…rebellious!"

Sasuke's eyes fell a bit closed to a pathetic degree. Iruka was a complete goody-goody, and Sasuke's meaning of rebellious meant law-breaking. So they ignored a sign? They didn't cross the bridge like it said not to do.

"Rebellious?"

The pony-tailed man's eyes met his, flaming up. "You!" He went to crack the spoon atop of his head, but Sasuke casually moved his head to the side. Iruka was pissed at that smooth move. His hands went back to his hips, foot taping. "So you think your Mr. Jive-turkey, letting my Naruto do such a…risky thing?! And why do you tell me NOW that you've been going up there?! HOW often have you been going up there when it's been restricted?!" Sasuke shrugged his shoulders, and Naruto said nothing, in fear of the spoons wrath. Metal spoons _did _leave a good bruise.

For today though, of all days, Iruka's patience for the Uchiha's 'influence' over his precious blonde was at an all-time low. It'd just run out. "Sasuke, you need to leave, now. I need to talk to Naruto, alone."

The Uchiha's patience was taking a dip, like it always did. He and Iruka got along for the sake of Naruto, sometimes with a few laughs. Today was a bit different. "Excuse me? You wanted both of us here."

"Not anymore young man! Go bother Kakashi or that Obito fellow-"

His brows folded in, a look of distaste across his face. "I'm not a five year old, _Miss Umino." _Sasuke turned, leaving Iruka insulted and speechless. He'd had enough of the motherly male; if not for seeing his penis when they went to the hot springs with Naruto, he would have believed Iruka was a women. Of all the time putting up with The Umino calling him a 'bad influence' towards his best friend, today it had to stop. That was it, and he'd finally insulted the male to his face.

Sasuke's hand pulled open the door, quickly exiting. "Sasuke-!" He paused for just a second before shutting the door, but heard Iruka's voice. Sasuke didn't even wanna bother fighting mother-Iruka, especially since he started his PMS-ing phase. He did feel bad for Naruto though, leaving him alone with that crazy man.

It didn't matter much now; he needed to find something to do nearby, and though he hated admitting it, he was probably going to go right to his place…like Iruka said he should do. His house was literally next door; a small main dirt path led about fifty feet away to his place.

_Kakashi should be in the small arena downstairs, practicing his sword form._ The broody Uchiha stepped onto his porch, pulling one of his hands from his pockets to open the door. But there was a scream. No, not Iruka's screaming or Naruto's; it was Ayame, the cook at the only food stand on the island. His head whipped around, seeing the brown-haired girl come up to him, desperate. Whatever she just screamed about he missed; maybe there was a spider crawling around the bowls.

"Sasuke-kun! Look!" She paused before him, pointing into the sky. Now, he knew the world was full of crazy things, and other things than animals and humans. He wasn't expecting a sight like this. A giant bird, a mask upon its face, flew closer to the island. Cannon balls flew past the beast; his eyes followed to where they were coming from, still, awed.

_You're SHITTING me… _It was a ship. A pirate ship. Shooting cannon balls at a giant bird. _Naruto just got his wish for a ship. _His eyes came back to the bird, the door behind him opening; people started coming out of their houses to see the rare sense upon them. Even Naruto's door opened and both of them looked at it.

"Well shit." Kakashi's voice resonated behind the Uchiha.

"It's got someone, that's what!" Sasuke turned and looked up behind him off of Obito's balcony, seeing him looking through a telescope.

"Who's it got?!"

The dark haired male looked into it still. "A pink-haired girl-! They got him!" Everyone looked back into the sky, watching the bird fly overtop the summit. A cannon ball hit its wing, and it dropped the girl into the forest…across the bridge. She was already unconscious, but a thirty-foot drop like that into the woods must have caused significant damage. Sasuke feared the worst for the victim, knowing he couldn't stand around.

"Kakashi, give me one of your swords." His eyes met his guardians, everyone awe-struck, wondering, for some stupid reason, what to do. It seemed Sasuke had the only logic to do something about it.

Kakashi opened his eyes slightly. "You're gonna go get the damsel in distress?"

"No shit."

He nodded, stepping into the house, Sasuke following. The door was shut behind them as Kakashi walked to the center of the room, into the area. "Very well. But first…" He pulled out some blue clothes, seemingly from nowhere, holding them out to Sasuke. "You must dress in this uniform!"

His brow cringed; the Uchiha was very comfortable in his black pants and white tank-top. It was simple. But seeing these, let alone this coming out of nowhere, he distasted. "Why-? Where did you even get these?"

Kakashi shrugged his shoulders. "Don't ask where they came from. And all I know is when the time of age comes, you must wear the great hero of times clothes, for a day, on your birthday."

His face remained pissed, and blank. "Nobody cares for that legend, even if our island is the only one to carry it on. Besides, Naruto is the one who just turned sixteen, not me!"

Kakashi paused for just a second. "Well, you're already sixteen, and the courageous one. It's your job as the manly-man to do this. Just do what I'm saying, or you'll really mess everything up."

He sighed, taking the clothes in hand. But there was a pause. "Wait, right here? Now?"

The guardian nodded, "I'm just supposed to talk as you put them on." Sasuke had to admit that everything was becoming oddly out of order and fucked up. Not to mention the start of odd events from nowhere. Sasuke complied and started putting on the uniform. "Well, I said what I was supposed to at this point about the legend and the hero. So…I might as well tell you these a quick brief on the sword training." He looked back at the Uchiha, a bit shocked. "Well well, if that isn't quite the uniform. You need the hat though."

The uniform had dark blue pants, black, open-toed shoes, and an open-chest, vest shirt. There was a giant purple rope belt around the pants, rather huge, it didn't weigh too much. Sasuke liked the uniform, actually, since is showed off his beautiful chest. There was one thing he left out though; the embarrassing hat. "The hat stays off. It'd ruin my hair anyways. And what's this about training if I've been following your instructions for years?"

There wasn't much point to training Sasuke how to use a sword if he'd been practicing under his instruction…but rules were rules, and a briefing was needed. He handed Sasuke a holster and strap, the sword tucked on the inside. "Just draw your shitty sword and hit this stick I'm holding a few times." He put the sword holster around his back, shrugging as Kakashi held a large wooden pole. If this would help him get closer to that pick-haired girl in the forest on the summit, he'd do it.

"Thrust, jab, swing, and jump-attack sound good?"

Kakashi nodded, "Trust me, this is as illogical to me as it is to you." Sasuke sliced horizontally first, hitting the pole, then quickly vertically. "While you're at it, do a back flip."

"What do you think I am, a god damn acrobat?!"

A sigh escaped the guardian, "Just do it." The relentlessness sank in; this was one sure-fire way for Sasuke to break his neck and never be able to have sex due to paralysis. Kakashi could see the stubbornness built in the Uchiha's eyes against doing this. Again, he sighed, "Just _imagine _you being able to do it. It's easy, trust me."

_Trust __**him**__? Hah, right. _However, a rather serious look came into the other male's eyes, giving Sasuke the reason to just listen and do it. When Kakashi became dire over something when he was giving him a hard time, things got ugly, quick. "Fine! Fine! I'll do a back flip!" He tucked his sword away, and pictured a back flip in his mind.

_And…_ He held his breath, jumping backwards, and rotating before smoothly landing on his feet. "See?"

His eyes came a bit wider than normal, marveling at his sudden eased flip. "Holy shit. First a giant bird, these clothes, and now amazing skills from nowhere. What's next?" A new confidence overcame the raven at his mad new skills, apart from the start of bizarre events.

"Flip back, then charge and attack. Then a jump attack." He shrugged and did another flip with ease, a perfect execution, pulling his sword out in mid-flight. He charged at Kakashi and struck the pole, then flipping back again before jumping and striking; the pole sliced open. The Hatake grinned as Sasuke put the blade away. "Alright, briefing over. Now you should go save that girl."

Sasuke was ready to go do this, and went top turn away to the door, but somehow…forcibly stopped. "Bow you sensei."

"This is bullsh-"

"Bow your sensei!" Some odd force pulled him down and made him bow. Though, it didn't change the expression of hate and disgust. It was like he _had _to bow before doing anything else. It was forced upon him to take this action.

Sasuke stood back up, and whipped around, leaving the home he dwelled in. Kakashi said nothing as he departed, watching his foster-kid shake his head like the world had suddenly changed.

In a way, it had. Now that the story had really picked up somewhere, everything was going to change. Nothing was relevant until now, when that bird suddenly showed up. An average island-dwelled life was about to change.

* * *

The bridge swayed slightly as Sasuke stood at its end. He wasn't quite on it yet; part of him hesitated. As soon as he left, he was hoping to see Naruto to get some sort of word in, but he and Iruka had departed back indoors. Everyone else seemed worried about the girl, where Sasuke was just about to go.

The Uchiha looked off to the side of the large cliff he stood on, past the water beneath him, past his house, and to the Uzumaki's. He couldn't hear anything from the high elevation he was at; just the howling wind. The bridge stood still as the wind calmed, and his eyes pulled away as he started crossing it. It was quite large, but a rope and board bridge. The middle plank had come off some time ago, and nobody was permitted in the forest on the other side of the summit. Which so happened to be where the girl was dropped, right into the forest's heart.

"Stupid bridge…" Sasuke stepped over the missing plank, catching sight of the water, and few rocks, below. It was a good sixty-foot drop into the water, and even if he did fall off, he was, at most, thirty feet from either shores. On the right side was his house, Naruto's, and Ayame's. She had a three-story place, attic included, and she often let travelers stay at her place at the end of the road Anko shared that house with her, being like roommates.

To the left was just one house, but with a grassy field to it, and a dock leading to a large lookout. That house belonged to Tsunade, the current overseer of the small-populace isle. Every island with some amount of people on it needed a sort of overseer, and after the bloodline with the first overseer was recognized, it was made official.

Two others lived with her, and she was currently working on having them a house built on the grassy fields. Shizune, and Genma. They seemed to be the only islands lovebirds, apart from Sasuke and Naruto, but nothing was happening between those two. Anko often tried to suggest that Kakashi sleep with her, though it was a suave 'no' every time. She'd even asked Obito, but he insisted he had an over-sea lover he wrote to. Sasuke had seen the elder Uchiha mailing out letters sometimes, so he believed it.

Konoha was the island with the smallest populace ever; the island couldn't hold too many more people unless the summits were used, houses made bigger, and more people came. Sasuke didn't want that though; he wanted that large, peaceful forest to remain untouched, and remain the youngest- second-youngest – in Konoha. He never wanted anything to change here.

He crossed the bridge, but paused at the forests entrance. It was pure black; he couldn't see a thing but a foot or so ahead. "…Okay then." He'd never really bothered to go into the forest, though there were legends that some fairy dwelled deep in it. Now that he finally was going in…it wasn't making much sense; it couldn't be _that _dark. Nevertheless, the oddness passed him and he walked forward.

Things had started to become bizarre enough as it is, with the clothes, back flips, birds and pirate ships. Darkness suddenly overcame his form, just for a second. "The hell?" It was as if, for a moment of passing into this place, he didn't exist. But he came back, and appeared in the forest, high rock walls surrounding, as did trees.

Grass and flowers were covering just about every inch of the place. That's not what mattered; his eyes scanned the trees before locking onto a pink haired girl, unconscious, shirt stuck on a branch. "What a lucky bitch. Not a scratch on her." Just about to walk forward, he paused. "Wait…from that fall, surely she suffered from something more than fainting…" Sasuke shook his head, getting out his sword. Maybe once he got her down he could make that judgment. For now, he'd need to cut away some of the tall grass to make a clear path.

The tree she was on happened to be atop of one of the high-up wall dividers. He couldn't simply climb something so tall, and there seemed to be some ledge that would lead up there, but on a different part of the forest.

Sasuke took just two swings before coming to a sudden halt; a green, shiny object caught his eyes. It looked like money. He picked it up and examined it. "It's a rupee." It took a moment for this discovery to sink in. "Holy shit, I just chopped grass and made money appear."

He pulled out a bag on his waist, putting it inside before taking a few more swings, but keeping his eyes on the ground. A few more green rupees popped out of nowhere. He grinned, taking them. "Easy money, fuck yeah." Who cared about the girl? She seemed okay. Sasuke could afford to chop at the grass to make money come out of it. Who cared if it didn't make sense anyways? It was _money. _

Sasuke swung again, knowing he had six now, leading up a small path to a ledge. But as he stepped forward, an odd 'clink' noise resonated through his ears. At the moment, he didn't care much; he was just looking for money. Nearly at the ledge, just before spotting a green rupee, he accidentally stepped on it. Sasuke heard that clink noise again, lifting his foot. The money was gone. "What?!" Quickly, he looked in the bag, and counted. There were eight now, not just six. This oddness received a long blink, and a thought.

"If I touch the rupee…it'll appear in my bag, just with an added sound effect." He remained paused, but looked at some grass. He cut it, and a rupee came out, though his blade hit it. And as soon as it did, he heard that noise, and it disappeared. He looked in his bag, and saw he had one more.

This, by far, passed the bizarreness of him being able to suddenly flip backwards. He stood, eyes looking into the bag, wider than normal. _This makes…no sense, at ALL. _The raven took another moment to absorb in this new, law-defying factor. He simply shrugged his shoulders. "Well, makes getting money that much easier."

After a few more swings, the Uchiha remembered what his main objective was; the girl. He hoped off of the small ledge he stood on, and came into another area. It was bigger than the one he was just in, grass anywhere as were the trees, and a fallen log. There wasn't time for exploring, so Sasuke did the logical thing and just chopped away at the grass in his way, looking for a way towards the girl.

It seemed, the way he was going, was just some big circle, though elevated differently. He thought, aside from the odd layout and how the stone walls blocked him from short-cutting to her, that this part was normal. However, Sasuke must have been wrong. He cleared his path, and noticed a particular sign.

"Fairy's Fountain. Increase your fortune." He took a second to look up at the gigantic rock; there was no way that thing was going anywhere. "…A…Fairy Fountain." He huffed, and swung his sword to chop the sign in half before turning away. "…What bullshit."

When he turned, the Uchiha noticed a log not too far from the sign, leaning on the wall to take him a bit higher, to the next area. _Alright, that much closer… _He climbed the log, and stood on the ledge. Another area was below, but just across the way was a low-dipped part of the wall, leading to the foot of the tree the girl was in. Also, from where he stood, he saw the dark tunnel leading back outside. He had gone in a circle. But that didn't matter to him now.

Sasuke hopped down, sword in hand, and walked forward to grab the girl, somehow, and go. _Maybe her crew will give me a nice pay-check for saving her. _The idea of getting pirates money made him grin. Until, he heard an odd sound from above. A cawing noise.

Stopping, he looked up into the sky; two golden-blue, though hugely ugly-looking birds, flew above carrying something, which they dropped in the next passing moment. Not only had he never seen such an ugly bird, but what the dropped took him by surprise, and off-guard. Before Sasuke knew it, two _monsters _were in his face, growling and making off noises. They weren't as scary as they were ugly.

The Uchiha flipped back, noticing they were a bit smaller than him, blue in color; dark-blue, with tails, and pointed ears; though, they were wearing pants and a vest for some reason. _I REALLY should have seen this coming. Saving a girl from a giant bird; of COURSE there's going to be ugly discolored monsters to fight! _

He sighed as they pathetically groaned at him, trying to be threatening, _suppose this means I chop them to bits? _Sasuke clutched the swords helm as they approached, then horizontally sliced, hitting them both. They were defenseless, and weaponless, so it should be over now. Both flew backwards, hitting the ground.

But there was no blood. Tha ravens eyes widened, and he looked at the swords blade. It was sharp, but there was no blood. He quickly looked back to the two monsters, seeing them get up, no marks on them whatsoever, and approach him again. "What the fuck!?" He began attacking one of them, slashing twice, then once more before they flung back and hit the ground.

Still, no blood, anywhere. The bizarre factor came back into mind, watching the monster _poof _away in a ball of black and purple smoke. He didn't have time to think about it; there was still one more. _Four slashes kill it. What about…jump attacks? _Sasuke flipped backwards, again, as the monster swung, actually loving how easy it was before preparing himself. He quickly jumped forward and brought his sword to the monster; Sasuke kept his trained eyes on the blade, and where it him. All he could see though was a glint where the sword made contact; no blood, just damage. It made no sense, yet again.

The monster hit the ground, and stayed down a minute before rising. Sasuke quickly grew impatient with the way things were going; a blow like that should have nearly cut a man in half. He took one pitiful swing before it moaned, hit the ground, and disappeared.

_A jump attack counts as two slashes. Great, so the damage amount is fixed. And there's no blood! What the shit, seriously! _Sighing, Sasuke shook his head, now having defeated the two. The peace didn't last long; there was a gasp from the tree area. His dark eyes lifted to the girl, seeing her begin to struggle. There wasn't time to think; he acted and ran over to her before she fell over the ledge, about twelve feet below.

The branch snapped, and she fell as soon as Sasuke got to her. He sure as hell didn't appreciate what happened when she fell – she fell on top of him. Of course, she was fine, but Sasuke had lost near all of his dignity when it happened.

The pink-haired female stood, and brushed herself off. "Fucking lousy…" The Uchiha stood to his feet, brushing himself off, and putting the sword away. The girl seemed to ignore him completely. "Where am I…" She glanced around, then paused for a moment, "Right, the bird -" Finally, Sasuke got his recognition. Her green eyes met his dark ones; he watched her scan his form quickly, placing a hand on her hip. "What an outfit you got there." A small glint seemed to light in her eyes; he wasn't interested.

However, he did take a look at her; she appeared about his age, dressed in short white shorts, a light-pink sleeveless top, strap-on shoes, a knife on a belt, and her hair up in some funky twist. It screamed 'whore' to the Uchiha. She didn't see injured either.

"MISS HARUNO!" Both looked over at the man who stood at the forests entrance, hopping down after draping on the ledge. He ran up to her. "Oh, thank GOODNESS you're alright! I was sure that bastard got you!"

The Haruno rolled her eyes, "I'm fine; let's just repay the fucker and get out of here!" For a moment, Sasuke was wondering why she wasn't hurt, at all, from that fall. He also wondered why, of all times, her crew member came up where they were after he killed the monsters and saved the girl.

_Leave all the work to me… _

And when he heard this Haruno wanted to just leave without thanks, after he'd done all of this illogical shit, and been landed on by her, there was no thanks. His temper began to boil. "But, miss, the young man…" She wasn't caring; the rosette walked right past the crewmate and to the exit.

_Alright, that pirate bitch is going to pay. _Sasuke high-tailed it after her and the man, ready to chew her out for being so arrogant to the fact he saved her. Nobody got away with such on the Uchiha's clock.

He walked through the stone-doorway, everything black for a moment before he came out on the other side, behind the other two. He was just about to place his hand on her should, but saw someone across the bridge, passed the arrogant bitch.

A smiling blond, blue eye male, leaning on the post. Sasuke forgot his anger, just seeing that. He wasn't sure how Naruto had escaped Iruka's wrath, but he must have got word that he went up to save the girl. The raven stepped forward between them both as the other started crossing the bridge. Maybe the blond would hug him and say something like, 'oh thank god your okay Sasuke, I was so worried.'

Half way crossing point, Sasuke sensed something wrong; he heard a distant, loud and booming, squawking noise. It sounded like that huge bird. His dark eyes shifted to the right, seeing the foul beast swoop down to where his Naruto was. He could only watch in horror, as the other two did, as the innocent male on the bridge became the birds prey. It was so unseen – so unpredictable. The Uchiha was frozen in horror for a moment as the beast flew away, the bridge blank.

"SASUKE!" A scream sounded out; the Uchiha's eyes fell onto Naruto's squirming form in the birds foot. His heart ached, and filled with anger as he clutched onto the swords helm. "SASUKE!!"

The Haruno watched the raven draw his sword, attempting to run towards the bird. "Don't you'll never -!!" He wanted to shoot the bird out of the sky. Sasuke wanted to shoot it down, chop off its wings, then lop its head off he was so pissed at it. He went to leap off, in an impossible attempt to hope to somehow catch the distant thing. However, just as he went to leap, a hand caught his arm. His right sense of mind came back once he was grabbed, and narrowly stopped from falling to the waves below. "Don't be brainless! You'll never get the damn thing at this rate!" It was the pirate-girl holding him back. But Sasuke didn't want to stop; he could still see the bird, growing more distant, quickly, from him. The cries of the young blonde, his Naruto, began to fade.

The raven violently swung his sword, pissed and frustrated, feeling the tears build in his eyes. He tried to hit anything he could; lopping off the weak trees branches, hitting rocks – anything to vent out his pain and anger. "No! NO! I…I need him! The bastard…he has my Naruto!" The girl still tugged at him, trying to calm the male the best she could. And, slowly, as the bird and cries faded, he burnt out on the venting phase as the reality of the situation sank in.

He weakly gripped his sword, falling to his knees in the next moment when the rosette let go. All Sasuke could do was look out at blue sky and vast ocean, trying to hold back the angry tears. He had just had Naruto taken from him. He'd never hurt so much at heart before; not since he found his fathers ship with him dead inside. Sasuke sure did feel dead at heart now.

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**I know Tetra doesn't dress like that in the game; I went with Sasuke's shippuuden clothes too. I decided to make them both dress whore-ish. ;D  
**

**This is just the first chapter, and intro-ish thing before the adventure really starts.**

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